Log in

16 May 2008 @ 10:22 am
My body hurts. I exercised this morning and felt great when I first got in to work. But now I'm running a fever, my whole body aches, and overall I feel like crap. Full on "Fibro-Flu" symptoms. Fun, hey?

TGIF, at least. I'll rest up tonight and be feeling better for our plans for Saturday. And then I can rest that evening and Sunday if need be.

I'm hoping that this clears up soon, and I start to feel better again. Earlier this week was great. The second part, though, has been pretty crappy. Don't know if it's the toxins or what...but I'm just, not happy.

Emotionally, I'm a bit of a mess. I feel like I'm doing my best to get healthy and keep up with all of my responsibilities, but no matter what I do I'm still fat, lazy, and stupid. I'm still forgetting things that I shouldn't be. And everything I say just comes out so completely and totally wrong. I can't take Adam's teasing at all because it feels so personal, and when I try to tease him back apparently I'm either not making any sense in what I'm saying and I end up feeling really stupid, or I'm just being a bitch. It's like I just shouldn't bother opening up my mouth right now...

I just want to go back to bed.
Current Mood: sicksick
15 May 2008 @ 11:57 am
Tired today, but not like Tuesday. Had an easier time of getting up. Allergies back to bugging me again, so took the claritin first thing when I got to work. Back pain is bad, too. Overall, I'm feeling okay, though. Not great, but okay.

Brain fog's back. Having a hard time focusing and thinking clearly. Want to go nap. Might actually do that, actually...car's nice and warm from sitting out in the sun.

Just ate lunch - wild rice saute. Feeling nauseous. WTF? Waiting for this to pass before drinking the ultraclear. Wild rice is high in calories, so I'm going to try mixing the powder with water today instead of apple juice. We'll see how that works. Trying to keep under 1500 calories for the day, but feeling very hungry for some reason...

Think I'm going to go take that nap, now. Hopefully it'll help me get through the rest of the day.
Current Mood: sleepysleepy
14 May 2008 @ 12:23 pm
I just realized that I havn't yet taken any sinus medication today. Amazingly enough, I did not realize it because I got a sinus headache...but because a coworker started talking about her allergies. My windshield was covered with a light layer of pollen this morning, and I'm fine. Woah.

Normally my allergies get worse in the afternoon though, so I'll take a pill with my lunch just to be on the safe side.

Brain fog's a bit more present than I'd like today, unfortunately. Caught myself putting the wrong mail in the wrong bin, and then 20 minutes later realized I was in customer service without remembering why or how I'd gotten there. Tomorrow morning I will start taking my b-complex again and see if this helps.

Managed 35 minutes on the elliptical this morning, and burned 120 calories. Go me!

Feeling hungrier than yesterday or Monday. Could be the workout combined with the fact that I didn't really eat breakfast today. Took my ultraclear with juice, which is 280 calories right there, so I didn't exactly skip breakfast; but normally I have 2 servings of fruit along with that and today I did not. Ate my pear at 11am, and am now diving into my spinach salad. Then I'll mix up the ultraclear. I have applesauce for an afternoon snack should I need it.

If I stick to my food plan for today, I will consume approximately 1400 calories. Subtract the 120 that I burned, which gives me a net of 1280. This is the same amount that I consumed yesterday. According to dailyplate.com, if I consume 1200 caloires per day when Lightly Active or 1600/day at a Moderately Active rate I will lose 2 pounds/week. So I'm aiming for anywhere between 1200 and 1400. I'm definitely more than lightly active, but probably not quite moderately active...so I average.

Funny how this journal has become more about my diet and weight loss goals than about the cleanse. I guess it's because the cleanse has been so easy. Sure I've had to restrict a lot of foods from my diet, but I have found plenty of resources online to help me choose substitutes. The food that we've been eating has been pretty darned tasty, and I think that I'll keep a few of the new recipes in my book for future (post-cleanse) use. The whole process, so far, has been a learning experience...and it will help me to make healthy decisions in the future even once my food options open back up.
Current Mood: contentfeeling good
13 May 2008 @ 04:16 pm
Very sleepy today. Cold, too. Mild headache kicked in around 1pm, has stuck with me all afternoon. Caved and took 2 ibuprofin.

Feeling munchy. I get like this when I'm sleepy and bored. Doing mindless work at work right now...and definitely feeling bored. Craving fruit snacks and/or popcorn. Oh well.

Looking foward to a relaxing evening and maybe an early night to bed if I continue to feel this sleepy. I'm just gonna have leftovers tonight, and Adam will eat freezer food. Nice and simple.

Brain fog's pretty bad this afternoon. Probably from the whole feeling sleepy thing. Gotta get the energy levels back up. Tomorrow morning it's back to the gym, so it'll be interesting to see if I'm more awake than today. If so, then I'll know that I must work out every morning.

But for now, I just want to focus on surviving today...
Current Mood: tiredtired
13 May 2008 @ 09:43 am
Moving slowly today. Like yesterday morning, but no workout to wake me up. I'm thinking that maybe once I'm in better shape I'll have to start going 5x/week - M,W,F cardio, T & Th strength training, weekends off. I guess I need the endorphines to jump start my system in the mornings.

Minimal back pain yesterday has turned into a minor back flare today. Ow. Not bad enough to have me lying down, but enough that I've got a pillow propped up behind me at work. Looking forward to the day when my muscles are strong enough that I don't have this pain.


Breakfast - banana strawberry smoothie (with 2 scoops UltraClear)

Lunch - apple juice w/2 scoops UltraClear, 1/2 an english cucumber, small valencia orange

Dinner - leftover rice saute from the other night, and cherry juice w/2 scoops of UltraClear

If I stick to what I've got planned out, I'm only at 1,260 calories for today. So if I get hungry I can have an extra piece of fruit. I don't think that's low enough to cause concern though, so I'll be fine if I just eat what I have.

Oh, and as of this morning I was at 159.8lbs. That's awesome. If I keep working hard, I should be able to loose 5lbs/mo. My weight goals are as follows:

155lbs for Adam's cousin's wedding (5/31)
150lbs for RenFaire up in CF (4th of July weekend)
145lbs for 2nd Bristol RenFaire visit (mid-August)

My costume should fit a bit more comfortably if I get down to 150, and even more so at 145. I don't think that I have to worry about shrinking out of it, though. It can come in pretty tight, and my chestal region will always be more than average sized. (In my family, once you get 'em, they don't go away.) But I'm definitely looking forward to the day where I don't feel like I'm actually cinched into the thing, and it doesn't pinch my back when I sit down. Yay for weight loss!
Current Mood: tiredstill waking up
12 May 2008 @ 04:33 pm
Took a claritin this morning, but no painkillers or anything else all afternoon. Sinus pain and pressure just started. (Getting back very quickly...but work's almost done, so I'm okay.) So yay - made it about 8 hours without any big issues there!

Body pain is pretty minimal. Little bit of tension in the neck & shoulders; neck tension is starting to trigger a headache. Just called the chiro - going straight there after work. I think that my neck and mid-back are out of alignment.

Felt pretty awake all day. Woohoo! Started yawning a bit around 4pm, but still, I got up at 5:30am so yeah...I'm happy with that. ^_^

Brain is more alert at 4:30pm today than it has been many recent days at noon. The fog is definitely clearning up. Not gone yet, but clearing.

Plans for tonight include making vegetarian chili, then maybe taking a bath if the sinus headache doesn't back off. Possibly reading if headache goes away, possibly watching TV if not.
Tags: ,
12 May 2008 @ 10:01 am
Got up at 5:20 this morning to feed the cats. Thought that I was going to fall back asleep on the couch, but Adam was up at 5:30...so no laziness for me! Instead I got ready for the gym.

Did 30 minutes on the elliptical today, 15 of those were at level 3. Yay! Followed that up with the PT assigned free-weight & back strengtheners. Felt good.

Up to 2 scoops & 2 pills 3x/day now, so I don't know how much actual food I'll be craving since the UltraClear can be rather filling. Had a scoop of that with some cherry-apple juice pre-workout, and then another scoop after the workout plus 1/2 a grapefruit. Not hungry at all, yet. Brought a bananana for a morning snack, just in case.

Lunch is leftover spinach salad w/strawberry-pineapple salsa, an apple, and another 2 scoops of UltraClear plus advaclear capsuls. I should get myself a bottle of juice for work. Today I'll just buy a can of apple juice from the vending machine, since I didn't plan in advance. Oh well, it's better than nothing. It may not be organic, but it is 100% juice with no added sugar or preservatives, so I should be okay.

Dinner tonight will be vegitarian chili with rice. Likely that'll be dinner on Wednesday, as well. Tomorrow's dinner will be baked vegetables with rice & veggie saute (left over from the weekend). And then I think on Thursday I'll make the collard greens soup with the white kidney beans. Adam's got stuff in the freezer if he needs, but hopefully the food will be tasty enough that he'll keep eating what I make. Apparently he lost some weight last week between eating with me and exercising regularly, so yay! It's good to know that this whole cleanse & lifestyle change isn't just helping me...especially since he's being so incredibly supportive and helpful; he should get something out of it in return.

Beautiful sunny day today, with a high of mid-60's. Perfect walk weather if I had my shoes here, lol. Oh well. I'll probably go outside during lunch anyways just to soak up some rays and get the vitamin d flowing.
Tags: ,
Current Mood: happyhappy
12 May 2008 @ 09:54 am
Stuck to the diet no problem this weekend. Only issues were body & sinus related.

I was pretty run down on Saturday, and didn't get a whole lot done. Organized a few things, sorted some mail, did a bit of filing...but the whole time I felt like I could fall asleep standing up. Attempted to watch a movie with Adam, but started dozing off halfway through. I did manage to wake up later on and make dinner though, and I pulled myself together enough to go to Christina's birthday bowling extravaganza. Only bowled one game and drank 2 glasses of water there, but still apparently overdid it judging by how much I hurt on Sunday.

Sunday morning I woke up with a horrible sinus headache and a minor flare throughout my whole body. The headache threatenedto turn into a migraine by around 11am, so I took some cayenne pepper (to stimulate blood flow) along with a decongestant, and napped for a while. Velvet kept me company the whole time, which was nice. After I got up, ate a little bit, and moved around for a while, I felt better. So even though I didn't have a whole lot of energy, at least the weekend wasn't a total waste.

Oh - made the chicken that we got from the store in Paoli. We were not impressed. I really don't think that I overcooked it, and yet it was very tough and only sorta moist. And here I thought that it'd be extra tasty... It was a sad, sad meal.
Current Mood: awakeawake
09 May 2008 @ 11:56 am
Last night I had leftover rice & beans for dinner, and then Adam and I went out with our friend Denise to see Iron Man. Holy crap - awesome freaking movie!

I did really well in the will-power department, actually. Denise didn't have time for dinner, so she got a pizza at the theatre, and sitting next to it was pure torture. But oh well, I survived. I'll get to have yummy homemade pizza after all of this is over! ^_^

This morning Adam and I went to the gym. Details about my workout there are posted in our weight-loss community, so I won't go into them again.

Breakfast - Had the ultraclear & cider blend plus half a grapefruit for my morning pre-workout snack, then made up a blueberry & banana (1/2 cup blueberries, 1/2 banana, 1/2 cup rice milk) smoothie with metagreens when we got back.

Lunch - 1 cup granola (made with flax, amaranth, raisins, brown rice syrup, and all that lovely stuff), 1/2 cup rice milk, 1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce, and 1/2 a banana sliced w/cinnemon on top

Dinner - not sure yet... I found this super tasty recipe for tilapia spinach salad with pinenapple strawberry salsa...but I need spinach and strawberries. The chicken's still frozen though, so that's not an option. And I think I'll save the ministrone for next week when I can only have fruits, veggies, and rice. So likely I'll be stopping at the store on the way home for spinnach & strawberries.

Tomorrow it's farmer's market time! I'm excited. Then we'll head over to Trader Joe's to pick up whatever other stuff we need for the week. My shopping list is simple - rice, veggies, fruit, juice. LoL.

I need to start working on laying out a menu plan for the final 2 weeks, since it gets a bit tricky trying to remember which foods get added in on which days. That'll be a project to begin this weekend, and then maybe bug Dale about helping me come up with more options if I don't like what's suggested in the book.
Current Mood: awakeawake
08 May 2008 @ 08:37 am
My back is on fire. My hips and legs ache, too. I'm guessing that this is all toxins related, as I haven't done anything to trigger a flare. So I'm pushing through, just drinking a ton of water. I've taken ibuprofin a couple of times, but I'm trying not to take it unless the pain is too bad to function...so nothing yet, today.

Last night's dinner was a cannellini bean salad with tuna, broccoli, and an oil & vinigre dressing. It was actually quite tasty! (I have some packed as lunch today, actually.)

After work I ran to the grocery store, and then went home and threw together the salad. It wasn't a whole lot of work, but I was exhausted. Hips hurt, too. I managed to go to the comic book shop with Adam after dinner though, and I don't think I whined too much about being tired and in pain. (I try to only whine when it's bad enough that he needs to know that it may cause problems.) After we got home, I read for a bit, and then at a little after 9pm I laid down on the futon with Velvet. Kitty cuddles always make me feel better.

Slept well last night, aside from waking up at 4:30am again. For some reason my body & brain have been wanting to get up that early, even though neither of them are functioning at more than 50% capacity at that point. (Also didn't help that Adam was slowly but surly taking over the entire bed; and then every time he bumped me yelled at me to move over because he had no room. ;-P ) Finally got up at 5am, but wasn't awake enough to do anything yet, so I spent some time cuddling with Silk on the futon.

Got in to work at 7:30am. Gonna try to put a full 10 hours in today. Mentally, I can handle it. Physically, we'll see...

Anyways, on to food stuff:

Breakfast - UltraClear smoothie with frozen strawberries & half a banana

Lunch - leftover Cannellini bean & tuna salad, carrots, and banana

Dinner - either more leftover bean salad, or leftover rice & beans (Adam and D and I are going to see Iron Man tonight, so I'm not going to try to squeeze in a full meal between getting home from work and leaving for th emovie.)

Overall, I'm feeling pretty mentally alert; and aside from the burning in my back and a few other places, physically I feel pretty darned good! I still notice the lack of caffeine throughout the morning and early afternoon, but at least I'm able to stay awake. And emotionally...I'm good. No, better than that, even. I feel relaxed and stable. Yeah, there's stress, but it's just not bothering me right now. So yay!
Tags: ,
Current Location: the office
Current Mood: busybusy